You moved house: Here’s why your landlord is keeping your deposit
The cobblestones outside your apartment look visibly disappointed – You walked on them with too much nonchalant foreigner energy, and now the city demands reparations for emotional distress.
Where landlords wield more power than medieval dukes and deposit returns are a mythical legend. Here are some very reasonable reasons your landlord is keeping your deposit in Luxembourg:
You didn’t clean the mirror – Yes you cleaned it. But there’s still a tiny smear in the corner and it’s common knowledge that all mirrors in Luxembourg must be kept pristine in case His Royal Highness The Grand Duke spontaneously materialises in your reflection. The landlord now needs to call a luxury mirror restoration expert. What a coincidence, it’s the exact cost of your deposit!
You neglected to clean under the floorboards – “Did you even think about prying them up to check for dust?” Your landlord certainly did. He also found that gold earring you lost. And you’re not getting that back either.
You forgot the inside the light bulbs – Apparently, you were supposed to unscrew each one and polish the filament. How could you be so irresponsible? You had one job and you missed the most important thing in the flat! Quite right that your landlord should pocket your €1,500 for light bulb cleaning.
The negative space between furniture you moved out – The landlord claims they can see the outline of where your ugly, second-hand Ikea sofa used to be. Now he needs to "feng shui restore" the balance.
You didn’t register your vacuum cleaner with the local commune – All vacuuming devices must be declared to the authorities for taxation purposes. Now the Luxembourgish Revenue Service (LRS) is involved. Goodbye deposit!
The cobblestones outside your apartment look visibly disappointed – You walked on them with too much nonchalant foreigner energy, and now the city demands reparations for emotional distress. Do you know how hard it is to find a cobblestone therapist?
Your presence in the apartment has permanently devalued its financial aura – The landlord was hoping to flip the property for €3 million to an expat banker, but your existence has cursed it with “renter energy.” Your deposit may temporarily help alleviate this pain.
Your landlord needed a new Hermès bag – No further explanation needed.